The day I met your Daddy, I vaguley knew about you. When you start dating a person with a child it's not something they put out there right away. More so for your protection. You were born to loving parents who love you, but their love for one another grew apart. You didn't ask for a divided home, but sadly there isn't much you can do now.
As I slowly started to meet you, you were a tiny bright blue eyed little angel, and i mean little. You were only a year and a half old. Was I scared at first? Kinda. I wasn't sure you were going to like me, and If you didn't like me, well that meant your daddy wouldn't like me either. BUT, you started to come around and you somehow wrapped your tiny innocent fingers around my heart, and thats how this all began.
You see Lauren, I never saw myself having children. Of my own or step. I never thought I would be a good mother or step mother. I was scared of kids. Scared of the changes it brings about in your life, you begin to live for someone else and not yourself anymore. I was truly terrified.
.....then you came along.
I admit, i still have a lot of work to do as a step mom. Even though I've been your Lizzy for almost 5 years now, parenting isn't something that happens overnight. Especially being a step-parent. That is by far the hardest job as a grown up. I have rules and boundaries i have to follow just to be your "other mommy". I have to respect what your mother and father set forth for you, even if my opinion of the matter is different than theirs. Your mommy, daddy and I were all raised different and to try and raise a child in a divided home on the same terms is hard. There are times that the things I do for you will be over-looked no matter how great it may be. Thats something I will have to accept. As long as YOU know that what I do for you is because I love you, it doesnt matter what anyone else says. I wipe your tears, comb your hair, read you stories, take care of you when your sick, all that at time are over-looked, but I know that in your heart you see it and you know that i love you. Thats just part of being a step-mom. No matter what I do or what I give, i will always be the "other mommy". and thats ok. God placed me in you and your daddy's life for a reason. At times you are a spitting image of me in things you do or say and it makes me giggle. You look up to me as a parent and a friend. You listen to what i have to say, and you follow directions....most of the time. I feel like i am doing an OK job raising you. Not many kids are as fortunate as you when it comes to divided homes and divorced parents. Most mommy's/daddy's and step-moms and step-dads dont get along for selfish and childish reason that you could never understand. I thank GOD everyday that your mommy and i have a great relationship with each other and that your father and stepfather do as well. You are actually proud to have 4 parents and that is a true blessing. You are so loved in this crazy family we have and i am forever grateful that you are.
Always remember that your mommy and daddy love you more than life itself and that even though they couldn't get along anymore and raise you together, they raise you now with more love and the help of myself and your step dad. I hope as you grow, you realize the job that i have is not an easy one and never will be, even when your a grown married woman. I didn't give birth to you, but i look at you as "my child" and i always will. Never forget that squirt :)
Love you most like jelly and toast
PS i hope some day when your browsing the internet you come across this letter and i hope it touches your heart as you have touched mine :)
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